Exam season is just around the corner - and let’s just say that it can be a testing time for parents, too.
TBH, the teenage years are rarely smooth sailing - there are some serious hormonal changes to navigate and who hasn’t been met with an eye roll when asking their teen a basic question, or a salty outburst at the mention of ‘too much screen time’? But, in the lead up to exams, emotions can hit an all time high, which might leave you wondering - is this a normal teenage mood swing, or something more serious?
Many teenagers have a hard time with exam pressure, so as a parent, it can be really useful to be able to spot the signs of stress so that you can help your child if they’re low-key struggling.
Signs of stress and burnout
There’s no doubt that the lead up to exams can be A LOT. Your teenager might be busy with daily revision, all while managing exam pressure and worrying about what will happen if they don’t get the results they want. These things can pile up and cause academic burnout.
Academic burnout is when someone feels mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted as a result of prolonged stress over their studies. If your teen is going through this, it can have a huge impact on the way that they feel and act. These are the signs to look out for:
If you’re concerned that your child might have a problem with drugs or alcohol, there’s help available on YoungMind’s website. They also have a parental helpline for anyone worried about their child’s mental state: 0808 802 5544
Beth, a therapist at ieso says…
“We know that when we are feeling stressed and anxious, we are more likely to be experiencing negative or self-critical thoughts. You may be able to help your child to name some of these thoughts, such as “I’m going to fail” or “I’m not good enough”. You can help them to challenge these thoughts by looking at the evidence and trying to develop a more balanced perspective. It can be helpful to try to tap into a self-compassionate mindset, thinking about how we would speak to a friend or loved one. You can help your child to replace their negative thoughts with more positive, balanced ones such as “I have prepared as much as I can” and “I can only try my best”. We can also give the message that worry or stress is a normal response to a situation which is important for us. If the level of stress becomes overwhelming and difficult to manage at home, please do reach out for professional support.”
How you can help your child with exam stress
Exam season is never going to be lit (or whatever the kids are saying these days) but as a parent, you can help to ease some of the pressure. Here are some ways that you can support your child through exam stress:
Let your child know that if there’s something on their mind, they can talk to you. It’s natural to worry about exam results, and it can be helpful to reiterate that these feelings are totally valid. One of their fears might be letting you down, so you could also reassure them that you are and will be proud of them, whatever happens. This should help them to feel more comfortable opening up.
Revising can feel really overwhelming to start with - there’s a lot of topics to cover and a lot of monarchs/rivers/equations (etc) to remember. It might be helpful to run through different revision methods together, such as flash cards, mind mapping, note taking and study groups, to find what works for them.
You could also help them to plan a revision timetable, with scheduled breaks where they can take a breather and do something they enjoy. Time away from studying can help them to stay calm and reduce the likelihood of burnout.
We’re all in agreement that it’s annoying when your teenager treats their bedroom as a floordrobe. However, during an exam period, you might want to cut them some slack when it comes to a messy room or household chores to give them less to think about.
We all know that when there’s something on our mind, it’s harder to catch z’s. Stressing about exams might mean that your child is struggling to sleep - and sleep is essential for our mental health, energy levels and concentration (it’s a catch 22).
Exam stress is always going to be there, but good sleep habits can make it easier to drift off. Encourage your teen to go to bed and wake up at a regular time, getting between 8-10 hours a night. You could suggest a digital curfew (depending on how likely they are to bite your head off) where devices are switched off an hour or so before bed to reduce blue light exposure or too much information keeping them up.
Sugary snacks and energy drinks often go hand-in-hand with study sessions, however some parents find that these things make their children hyperactive, irritable and moody. Instead, perhaps you could stock the fridge with healthy alternatives that are just for them.
Most teens are glued to their phones, so they might be open to trying out mindfulness apps for zen vibes. Some examples include: Mood kit, Calm, Talkspace, IBreathe, Headspace.
Never underestimate the power of the great outdoors. When we feel stressed, getting outside and visiting green spaces can help us to decompress and relax. If your teen is stuck in a revision rut, suggest taking a break and go for a stroll together.
It always helps when there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Give your child something to look forward to after their exams by planning a fun activity that you can do together. Just make sure that it’s something they’ll genuinely enjoy and get excited about.
The reality is that exams don’t always go to plan and your child might not get the results they were hoping for. It’s a good idea to prepare yourself for this by thinking about how you can support them if it happens.
It’s important to stay calm and try to reassure and comfort them. If your child needed certain grades for a university offer, you could familiarise yourself with the clearing process, and help them to be proactive with next steps. Even if their original plan doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that they can’t get to where they want to be.
As we’ve spoken about, exam stress is normal to some degree, but if stress and anxiety is having a serious impact on your child’s mental health, you can contact your GP for help. There are also some great organisations that you and your teen can go to for support:
ieso offers online cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) for a range of mental health issues, including anxiety and depression. Our service is available from age 16 in some areas - find out more here.
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