Is being introverted the same as having social anxiety?

Introversion and social anxiety often get mixed up, and to be fair, there are some similarities between them. Feeling overwhelmed in big groups of people, cancelling plans and preferring to spend time alone can be a sign of either. But, while introversion is a personality trait, social anxiety is a mental health issue. One involves a fear of social situations, and the other is about where you draw your energy from.

What is an introvert?

If you’re an introvert, you will be someone who feels more energised after spending time alone. You might enjoy socialising, but find that it overwhelms or drains you after a while and you need some solitude to recharge your batteries.

You might be quite an introspective person, and you might prefer to hang out with people one-on-one or in small groups. Interestingly, some research shows that introverts are more likely to feel anxious, but that doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone.

Sometimes, introversion is confused with shyness, but they’re not the same thing. Whereas shyness can fade over time (you might be more reserved around someone the first few times you meet them, but open up as you get to know them) introversion is a consistent personality trait. That being said, you can be both shy and introverted.

What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety is a mental health disorder which involves an intense fear of social situations. If you have social anxiety, you probably spend a lot of time worrying about being judged, which makes you feel self-conscious and embarrassed when you’re around people, even though you don’t need to be.

Social anxiety can have a major impact on your life. Think how many people you speak to on a daily basis, from your colleagues to supermarket assistants and the never-ending whatsapp group chats. Now, imagine how difficult it would be if each of these interactions made you feel deeply uncomfortable.  

To avoid the discomfort, you might shy away from any situations where you have to encounter new people or people who you don’t know very well. This could stop you from applying for a new job, enrolling in a course, taking a driving test or starting a relationship.

It’s worth mentioning that although social anxiety and introversion are two seperate things, some people are socially anxious and introverted.  

Signs you might have social anxiety

• You worry about everyday social interactions

• You worry about social events and avoid them if you can

• After social activities, you replay conversations and over analyze everything you said or did

• You always worry that you will embarrass yourself in front of people

• You worry about being criticised, disliked or judged

• You struggle with low self-esteem

• You have physical symptoms of anxiety in anticipation of or during social events, like a pounding heart, sweating, shaking and feeling sick

How to manage social anxiety

If you struggle with social situations, there are things you can do to put yourself at ease. Here are some tips that might help:  

• Be in the moment: When you’re talking to someone, listen and concentrate on what they’re saying, rather than thinking about how you’re coming across or what to say next.

• Take a deep breath: If you can feel anxiety creeping in, take yourself off for a moment and calm down using breathing exercises. Breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose, then breathe out slowly and deeply through your mouth. It can be helpful to count from 1-5 on each breath.

• Challenge your thoughts: If you have a thought like ‘they must think I’m boring’, ask yourself whether there’s actually any evidence of this, or if you’re projecting.  

• Remember, it’s normal not to click with everyone: There are always going to be some people that we get on with better than others and that's okay. If you have an awkward interaction, that’s just part of being human.

• Focus on the good stuff: Instead of fixating on the negatives, notice and remember if you make someone laugh, or you have an interesting chat with a new person.

• Don’t use alcohol as a social lubricant: It can help to take the edge off, but will probably make the negative thinking worse, especially the next day (hello, anxiety).  

Kiera, a clinical supervisor at ieso says…

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"Something I’ve noticed in therapy is that people with social anxiety often feel like everyone’s watching and judging them. A simple grounding trick—like noticing five things you can see or feel—can really help take the focus off yourself and ease some of that pressure in the moment."

When to get professional help

Lots of people struggle with social anxiety for years before getting help, but if it’s holding you back and you can’t manage alone, it’s a good idea to seek support sooner rather than later. As a first step, make an appointment with your GP who will be able to talk you through different options, which might include talking therapy.  

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is an effective treatment for social anxiety. CBT helps you to challenge your thoughts patterns and behaviours to create a healthier headspace. At ieso, we offer typed CBT, where you and a therapist type back and forward via our online portal. The lack of face-to-face interaction can be really useful if this is something you struggle with. Find out how to self-refer and get started.